The last time I went to AC, I had a little too much fun. I went with a few friends to spend a night at Caesars…on a Tuesday.

Great hotel, great casinos, way too much drinking. I ended the night around 2 AM, sadly not by choice. My friends kindly escorted me back to the room. When they returned, I was talking to a dresser.

On the way home, I turned three shades of gray and wanted to die.

Fast forward to almost two years later.

Based on my last time there, I wanted to keep my composure. Spend a little, drink a little, and win a lot of money.

Because I’m me, I bought a new dress and packed two pairs of heels. For the life of me, I could not decide which pair of shoes to wear. Cute and comfy or hot and forced to walk very slowly? I opted for the latter. The boyfriend decided to wear a suit. We looked damn good. I threw my heels on and we headed to the casino floor.

As the elevator doors opened, we were greeted by a slew of smoking and non-smoking slot machines. I wanted to start playing the penny slots but was intrigued by this so called roulette game.

While sipping a $10 gin and tonic, we watched as people placed their bets. I gladly played the naïve card, allowing the boy to explain the whole game to me (because I really had no freaking clue how to play anyway). Basically, it is a system of patterns AND luck. Great.

I decided to throw in $60 at a table. Just enough that if I lost it all, I wouldn’t feel the need to make up for it in free booze later.

After placing a crap ton of chips on the board, I managed to win $139! The fellow lost $80. It was at that time I decided to leave. There was no way I was going to win more money, considering I had no idea what I was doing.

Because I felt bad he lost at his game, I treated the man to some gelato. Located across from the check-in desk was a little ice cream place with display cases full of gelato. The sugar free pistachio was pretty good but annoyingly filling. I realized afterwards that alcohol and dairy probably weren’t a good mix. I think he got mint chip. It did not go over well the next day, but more about that later.

We decided to try our luck on the slot machines next.

I don’t know about you, but I think penny slots are the jam. They’re cheap and you can play FOREVER. If you win $.05, you have made a 500% profit. I’m ok with that.

I ended up winning 40 bucks, 20 of which was my own money. Seriously, penny and nickel slots have never let me down.

To finish out the night, we walked around the boardwalk for a little while before checking out the Wild West bar. It was full of drunk people, bachelorettes and guys from Oklahoma.

Mike had an LIT and a refillable mason jar beverage. Once he was good and tipsy we slowly made our way back to the room. He was hurting the next morning.

What began as a bad headache turned into sounds so bad that I started to worry. We made it to the car before he threw up again in the parking garage. I drove us home since he was in no condition to drive.

He felt better once we got back.

You never have a “normal” story when you go to AC. Sure you gamble and drink here and there, but something always happens. Never a dull moment.

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