Damn You, Supercuts

A bad haircut can ruin you for months. You grieve in stages, from complete shock to gradual acceptance. Sometimes you need your entire social circle to tell you that it’s not so bad. Other times, you come to the conclusion on your own that you will live to see another day. Even though you know it’s just hair and that it will grow back eventually, a bad haircut can sit in the back of your mind like something you forgot to do that morning.

“Did I remember to lock the door?”

“I hope I paid that bill on time.”

“Oh dear god, why did I go to Supercuts?”

Growing up, my hair was long and straight. My mom liked to keep things simple, so it was “One boring haircut for my Asian daughter, please.” Middle school was a time for rebellion. I chopped it off as soon as I could, much to my mother’s disapproval. I heard the name Connie Chung thrown around several times due to the fact that we are both of Asian descent and had short hair. Good one guys, real original.

Fast forward to high school. At some point, I decided I wanted a “Scene” haircut. Think long on the bottom and short and choppy in the back. If you are unfamiliar, this is what it looks like (courtesy of Google).


This is what mine looked like.


It was cool for about five minutes until I realized that I had made a terrible mistake. Spontaneity and changing one’s appearance does not go well for me. Growing it out took FOREVER. That was the first time I told myself never to go short again. So bad.

I made it through college unscathed by the latest trends, being unable to commit to ombre or low lights. I kept things cheap and simple, going to the nearest salon which was actually a barber shop.

No one tells you that after graduation you start to get a little weird. You have all of these crazy ideas- app start ups from your basement, selling shoes professionally, leaving everything behind and building a house on the back of a truck bed, etc.

I started seeing this guy from high school, which should have been a red flag. It wasn’t serious but it was something to do. We were the same age, but he was finishing his last year of college- another warning sign. I went to a frat party and bar hopped all over the Rutgers campus. So many warning signs.

He broke the news that he was “talking” to another girl. I wasn’t devastated, but my confidence had taken a punch in the face. After that, I was up for anything. So naturally, it was time for Janelle to cut her hair again. No, no, no.

Which brings me to my most recent terrible idea.

First and second time at Supercuts were success stories. The first cut was edgy and fun with a lot of movement. Second cut was average but necessary. Had Supercuts finally answered all my prayers?

Nope! Third cut is a mixture of things. There are layers. They are there, they are present. It’s not bad but it’s not good. Bobby pins and hair ties are a godsend. Needless to say, I miss my long, boring straight hair.

So why am I telling you all of this, a girl obsessing over her hair, giving you her life story, one bad cut at a time? Because you need to know!

Just kidding.

I’m here to give you some rules of getting a cut.

Don’t cut your hair after you’ve been dumped. Just DON’T do it. You may not have the guy, but you will still have your hair, your money, and your dignity. They are more important than that guy you had a crush on in 5th period science class.

Think about it for more than a week. Give yourself time to mull things over, because by the time you finally decide, you will have made several changes.

Go to a real stylist. As someone who is incredibly cheap, I would rather have my friend cut my hair with scissors from an office supply store, but the odds of that working a second time are 50/50 and she lives 4 hours away. Save yourself, and spend a little.

If you do go crazy, cut off everything, or shave the side of your head (why?), remember that it will grow back…after several months. The world is not ending, you are going to be alright, and invest in a cute hat, scarf, or a new weave.

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